Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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