yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
