atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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