I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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