Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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