theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
