I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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