So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
