Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
