that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
