Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
