The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
In America we eat man semen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
