She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
