fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
