So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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