Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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