Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
