I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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