I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize