Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
