Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
