omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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