We're facebook friends in real life
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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