Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
