I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
