the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want to fling myself into the sun
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