So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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