I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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