he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
