he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
