yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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