I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
