Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
