Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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