sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
