hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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