Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
