I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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