btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
