That's when you crack a 10am beer
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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