the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize