I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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