it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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