I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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