Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
