And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
