she was so not down for the gang bang
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
