Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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