The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
