I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
