I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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