i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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