the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
