you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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