But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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