would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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