I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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