as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize