Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have fence marks all over my body
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
