I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
