First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What a dumb baby whore.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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