school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
