so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
