I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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