FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.