if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?