So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.