Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
