Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We don't watch enough power rangers
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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