I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
kristin has been a bad kristin
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize