after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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