Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize