How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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